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SuperDepressed

Tag Archives: poetry

Lonely Holidays and Breaks from Social Media

07 Friday Dec 2018

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breaks from social media, depression, feeling alone, grief, holidays, loneliness, poem, poetry, suicide


Weirdly I have often wondered,
When I let grief steal my thunder,
When the sand surrounds my head,
When I think, “I should be dead,”

Who will miss me? Who will care?
Do they even know I’m there?
A question that will not be voiced–
Those who think it need a hoist,

We are not weak, we are not strong,
Like you we’re trying to get along,
To live, to love, to like, to make it,
But sometimes, god, we just can’t take it.

And those of us who can hide, do,
Sometimes we disappear from view.
Don’t hate us then, don’t hate us now,
We’ll come back once we relearn how.

And those of us who never learn,
Your memories fond, you mustn’t spurn.
It’s not our fault the world turns on greed:
Not our fault, our endless need.

Not our fault, the hurt and pain,
That darken every glad refrain,
It wasn’t we who chose to feel
The torture of wounds we cannot heal.

So if one of us re-joins the fray,
Be joyful we lived for one more day.
Help us fight, see how we strive;
Just help us, please, to stay alive.

“O Robin, Our Robin”

29 Friday Jun 2018

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grief, love, mental health, mental illness, poem, poetry, remembrance, robin williams, suidice

This is imported from one of my other blogs; my sister commented today that although I’ve seemed alright “for a minute” (meaning: months, but this kind of figurative language is always hard for me) she always keeps me in mind, when she sees posts about suicidal ideation etc.

I wrote this a couple of years ago, now, for the then-only-just-deceased Robin Williams… I wanted to fix it, to make it better for the anniversary of his death, but it’s been a busy year and this is what I’ve got. I’d rather post it than not, though.

This is *not* “O Captain, My Captain,” nor even a decent parody (the rhyme scheme ran away with itself, and I was powerless to stop it; there are too many syllables at many points, and at least one extra stanza) but it most certainly *is* an homage to that poem, to Walt Whitman, to the movie “Dead Poets Society” and, most of all, to Robin Williams, the… oh, fuck it. He was a legend, and I don’t have the words, but here’s my best attempt.
If you’re somewhere reading it, Robin, I hope you’re touched by my efforts. You were such a generous human being, I know you won’t judge me for the many stylistic errors.

“O Robin, Our Robin”

O Captain, my Captain–
You jumped the fucking ship?
You’re overboard, we’re over-bored
Without your perfect quips.

Don’t get me wrong, the voyage long was more than you could bear
I get the why, it’s just that I
can’t stop my useless tears.

And oh fuck! Wank! Shit!
Oh the movies never made!
Oh the vast routines where genius gleams
now stuck in endless shade!

O Captain, my Captain, how have we lost your spark,
When o’er the world your jokes unfurl
to chase away the dark?

Oh Captain, our brother,
We’d share with you our pills
Our memories bright of how your light
has lessened all our ills.

Although he does not answer,
Although his family weeps,
I think I’m right, this is just night
And he’s merely fast asleep.

His lamp unrubbed, his lines un-flubbed
To Orson he does not fly;
In a jungle great he merely waits for an 8, perhaps a 5.

Husband Poems, 1

19 Tuesday Dec 2017

Posted by SuperDepressed in Poems

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husband poems, hypomania, insomnia, marriage, marriage poems, married life, Poems, poems about sleep, poesy, poetry, wife poetry

I have written a poem about myself, from the perspective of my husband, who is not plagued with insomnia (unlike yours truly). Enjoy, or not:

Last night, I had a little nap;
Still clothed, I took to bed.
My head was resting in her lap,
Because it was nice, she said.

Confused, I woke at dawn today
The duvet tucked around me,
My naked form was snugly wrapped,
Security abounding.

My clothes were folded neatly, near
My wallet, watch, and keys;
I half-recall her whispers, small,
As she tidied them for me.

A smell of her wafts to my nose,
When I idly lift my hand.
Ylang ylang and jasmine flow
As I start to understand.

She bid me: rest, go take a break,
Then into bed she crept–
To throw her arm about my waist,
And hold me while I slept.

He likes it, anyway. And I’m glad I’m doing something productive, if I’ve got to have insomnia.

Daft Poetry

20 Friday Jun 2014

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anxiety, clinical depression, depression, meds, poetry, rhyme

I’m currently sitting here in my under-things. The house is too hot and no one in the Northeast of England has air conditioning (including me) but that’s not really the reason… really, the reason I’m sat here, half-dressed, is because I can’t be bothered to put the rest of my clothes on.

Or do much else.

However, when I woke up this morning (because I just could not do any more sleeping–and may I just say, 12 hours of sleep is ludicrous, both in general, and in the specific) and went to lie down on the couch (I shit you not) this little bastardization of, “Green Eggs and Ham” was bouncing around inside my brain. As far as I know, in spite of all the rip-offs of that poem in the world, this one is mine:

I do not like this wonky brain,
I do not like it in the rain,
I do not like it in the sun;
It is not fun for anyone.

I do not like it with the meds,
They make me less fun in the beds.
I like it even less without,
Without, I rant and cry and shout.

I do not like this panic attack,
It makes me tend to over-snack,
I do not like this mood that lags,
I do not like these crying jags.

I do not like these sleepless nights,
But the sleepful ones just don’t feel right.
I do not like my crazy brain,
I wish that I could just be sane.

And there you have it. What I woke up feeling like, today… while off my meds.

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